I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
