the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
