I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's the barista slut.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
