it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
