May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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