real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
