apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We are all done wearing pants today
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
