Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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