i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
