Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

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  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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  (954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo
  Replies (18) Good night (2084) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting

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  (707): i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting http://tfl.nu/gfmw
  Replies (13) Good night (4546) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

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  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
  Replies (20) Good night (2151) Bad night (5207)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1387) Bad night (3517)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on

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  (512): this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on http://tfl.nu/vnoj
  Replies (22) Good night (3746) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...

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  (402): I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9... http://tfl.nu/1jeo
  Replies (2) Good night (3415) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT

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  (615): ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT http://tfl.nu/kbbi
  Replies (4) Good night (1058) Bad night (2031)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.

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  (608): So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf? (1-608): I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account. http://tfl.nu/4oht
  Replies (1) Good night (2880) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.

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  (408): Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked. http://tfl.nu/qje8
  Replies (8) Good night (1163) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  did i really sing to your nipples last night?

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  yes. and it was oddly very seductive

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  (931): did i really sing to your nipples last night? (731): yes. and it was oddly very seductive http://tfl.nu/t5a8
  Replies (2) Good night (1647) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.

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  (612): I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite. http://tfl.nu/m5xg
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.

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  (803): I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do. http://tfl.nu/jefl
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.

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  (503): Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need. http://tfl.nu/nn16
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee

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  (469): Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee http://tfl.nu/me1d
  Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (137)

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