Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone