I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them