So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"