i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic