Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

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(936): I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway". http://tfl.nu/2ye8

Replies (39) Good night (1004) Bad night (3468)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.

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(407): I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong. http://tfl.nu/42z4

Replies (7) Good night (1434) Bad night (2801)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.

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(404): So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B. http://tfl.nu/ianl

Replies (28) Good night (1342) Bad night (6101)
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(972): View more from Texas

They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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(972): They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas. http://tfl.nu/lamz

Replies (41) Good night (4796) Bad night (7648)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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(978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2

Replies (38) Good night (6426) Bad night (1394)
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(305): View more from Florida

We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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(305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b

Replies (8) Good night (3292) Bad night (1588)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.

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(610): Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole. http://tfl.nu/uyw0

Replies (11) Good night (3837) Bad night (993)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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(306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq

Replies (22) Good night (1503) Bad night (764)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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(225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw

Replies (4) Good night (2669) Bad night (1058)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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(678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu

Replies (15) Good night (2139) Bad night (1064)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

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(651): I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen. http://tfl.nu/sts0

Replies (0) Good night (679) Bad night (337)
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(406): View more from Montana

That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!

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(406): That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face! http://tfl.nu/7j4j

Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (552)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.

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(503): I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution. http://tfl.nu/pkk0

Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (386)
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(708): View more from Illinois

that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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(708): that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs.. http://tfl.nu/9ni1

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (358)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.

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(416): He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came. http://tfl.nu/cj68

Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (716)

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