i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.