There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
