yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
