You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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