Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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