there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
false alarm, still single
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