did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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