I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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