is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
