his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
