I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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