i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize