I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I want is dick and wine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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