I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
