This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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