drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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