this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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