Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
