hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
