I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize