More tranny stories later!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Four minutes until I can fart!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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