lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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