Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
