Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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