his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am one with the molecules
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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