he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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