Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
