Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just google imaged poop.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
