it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
