I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
