i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
