Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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