this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
