Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
