Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
