I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
