I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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