I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
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Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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