I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
