he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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