Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
