Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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