And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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