I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
