It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
