My hair reeks of homosexuality.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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