So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
