You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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