One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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