I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
